National Talk Like a Pirate Day!

1.
Aye, me lady. I hear tell of a rocky land, of coast rockier still. Huge tall
mountains ye cannot see behind 'em. Only if ye be flyin'! Aye, but beyond the
rocks, gold. Gold I'm sayin'! All fer the takin'. Who's wit' me?

2. Avast me hearties! This be the tale tol' to me.

Twenty then some sea dogs, jack tar to a man, set sail, meaning to find a way aroun' another. The true way be blocked, don't ya know.

Belay that talk! I'll not be telling you why

3
Two days asea, the lookout called, "Ship ho!" The chase made full sail, yet ne'er closed. Twas always aft to them. They rubbed deadlights raw. Yet there it was. It could not be unseen.
Begad! What of it? Who be the cursed among them? What sea devil set it in sight but ne'er in reach!
... Arrrrrrrrrrr What sea devil indeed! *reaches for rum* --Cap'n Julie

4.
Arrr! Ill winds and foul befell them. Many a dog fed the fish wit' his ownself.

Not a jolly boat, wit' them cursed n' knowin' it. Eyeing each other, quick to blame.

The lot of 'em addled by shanty and grog, full of bilge and bile. All be lost. 'Tis far better run through by blade then at the whim of wretched seas. N' wretches ye be!

5.
Avast ye lily-livered dogs! Be ye cowardly swabs or sea going mates? Answer true or feel my blade!

Yer Cap'n Julie give you an order! Arrr... Smartly there, lass and laddie! Come aboard!

6.
Aye Cap'n Julie!
From the poop came a cry "Land ho!" Rocks rose afar, in one piece rose above a slip of sand. High to the sky they were! Clear across the horizon.
Was't help r hell? to a man they cried. Just as a reef tickled the bottom of the boat.

The weak keelhauled to the locker, naught but sea elves make the shore. The will t'live tis hard to shake.

7.
Wit' their backs to the rocks, the sea at their feet, the sea elves could but
wonder what be next? Will waves grow hands to drag them to the deep? What of an elf on the bottom be? Ne'er was told this tale.

Blimey! A scurry of tiny feet had elves dance wit' rats unseen. Small voices
like no bird or siren brought hands to ears so as not sung to their deaths.

Briny deep beckoned. No rest 'cept resting wit' the sea. Elves look up.
Would they a hithlain rope n' bid it know the top of the rocks?

8.
No sea elf a landlubber be!

Tide quickly moved from shore, but the rocks nar did shrink. They twirl like tops on land, 'tween water and rock. One too far to swim, t'other to high to climb.

They chose weapons: whips of kelp, clubs of deadwood with large head, or with shards of broken shells to draw blood. Pockets full of pointed rocks. Arrr... beyond these rocks, blaggards be!

9.
"It moved, Begad!" one yelled. "On my oath, it moved."

Quiet called, eyes keen. Arrrr... it moved. A crack, widened as the sound deepened.

"No quarter!" was the cry, arms raised, braced to battle giant or troll, befitting a boulder of its size.

They tensed, staring equal to its height, then lower, lower still.

A peep.

Aye, ye scabrous dogs! A peep.

10.
'Tis hard to silence an elf. Harder still to belay his arm, halt his step.

The wee folk did this. A hobbit? Nay, smaller still. Not misshap'd as a dwarf and shorn of unruly matted hair and beard. No wings like Fae folk.

To the knee they came. And chatter! Birds in the trees rivaled them not.

The elves looked each to each as smiling folk waved them inside. One look behind saw the sea, once distant, rushed toward them. 'Twas all the elves could do to make the opening!


11.
Nicely put, their friendliness was their greatest feature. Truth tol', 'twas hard to tell a he from a she. Well kept were they all. Nary a proud beauty yet no foul beast either. Small n' fleet, eyes quick, though looking like to like. They ev'n dressed the same.

"Mind ye manners, me buckos," the chief bosun cautioned. Hald'ir his name, fight his fame. As kindness followed kindness, he was loathe to think ill of the folk. Wizened by years, he held his own counsel.

Fore in his mind was troubling thought. On stealth. he found the entry boulder and pushed, shoulder, flank and hands wit' all strength to bear, but did not move it. He vowed return with his brother R, and his other brother R.

Who moved the stone?

What did they have in mind for the sea elves?

12.
On return, full resolve, he found all hands covered with wee hands. Each elf
had four nay! seven wee ones on arms, legs, tummies, shoulders n' all points
between.

Odd positions exposed under clothes, but Hald'ir still could not a gender see.
Aye, but hear he could. Moans of pleasure, a shanty, a sea song of sea elves
returned to port.

Ears they fingered, the pleasure they gave unexpressed as no words were common
'tween them. Sparkling combs soothed scalps and eased knots.

Shiver me timbers! He gazed down at the little ones, at hand perfumed oils,
silken cloth, golden combs. Small hands eased his body to soft earth.

13.
Prick'd in the butt, Hald'ir woke n' remov'd prongs from his left cheek. His butt mangl'd the comb, but the memory of pleasure to his hair, n' buttocks, returned.

"Cab," the bosun called the weeny who came up to him. He'd named him during the night, if he be he.

Cab reshap'd the comb, pulling it through his hands to its combness. So malleable, Hald'ir thought. How it caught ole Sol rising, how the light play'd the trees.

Hald'ir examin'd it. The comb be gold.

PunkinelfCharms has closed

because:

1. Going to Paris
2. Dumping most loose charms on eBay
3. Loss of drive to sell (we all could have predicted this)
4. This:



Not really. It's because of Paris. I WILL BE A POET IN PARIS!!! So much riding on this (as usual) but it's Paris!